


been waiting on this for a while now

by 5sexualhomos



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Slow Burn, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Underage Drinking, is it really an au when oops and hi are literally canon, will add as needed and when i can actually think of them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-30 12:40:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6424579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5sexualhomos/pseuds/5sexualhomos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where people get soulmate tattoos of the first words their other half says when they turn 18, things are a little complicated for those who meet before then. Louis and Harry are one of those couples. It takes them a while to figure things out</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> So I have had this idea for at least two years now and I told myself I wasn't going to make this chaptered but I can't help myself. I just really really wanna put this out there even though I don't have more written. I do know what direction the story is going in and the majority of the plot already planned its just a matter of putting fingers to the keyboard. I may not update regularly but I am not planning to abandon this fic bc I wanna see it through. 
> 
> If there are any mistakes they are mine it is 5am and I am in a delirious sort of state right now. Shout out to my wonderful beta [hilouriously](http://archiveofourown.org/users/hilouriously/pseuds/hilouriously)
> 
> title is taken from on top of the world by imagine dragons (ik song title but i've been waiting forever to use it and its perf)
> 
> hope y'all enjoy!!!!

“But, like what if it says ‘You're a fucking bastard.’ I feel like that’s not a good way to start a relationship,” Louis says as he shoves popcorn into his mouth. Harry can’t help but laugh.

This is the fourth movie in their B-movie marathon. Harry can’t be arsed to remember the name of it, but it’s about two soulmates who hate each other before they inevitably fall in love. Sure, it’s a totally overused trope, and Harry would rather watch paint dry for two hours than watch yet another movie with the same contrived plot, but it was Louis who wanted to do an entire marathon. So here he is, at three o’clock in the afternoon still in his pajamas, curled up on one side of the couch with Louis on the other. At the beginning of their marathon they both had an equal amount of couch, but as time wore on Harry’s got smaller and smaller as Louis took the liberty to lean against the armrest and take up, much more than this half of the couch; not that Harry minds entirely. 

“It would be a bit unfortunate to have that for the rest of your life, yeah,” Harry replies, still laughing.

“It’d be totally ridiculous. What if it showed up on your wrist? You’d never be able to wear short sleeves again,” Louis continues.

They’re talking about soulmate tattoos. An obsession that most of the world has in one way or another. No one really knows why the tattoos appear, or how they work; or rather how Fate chooses two people to be together. 

Most people accept it, content to let some higher power tell them who to love, they can't imagine a world where people just have to guess. Some are excited at the prospect, introducing themselves to as many people as possible in the hopes of meeting their soulmate sooner rather than later. Others have doubts, and don’t want to believe. They’re willing to do anything not to fall for someone assigned to them, or are already in a relationship and don’t think it’s fair to their partner. And there are those that don’t even get a tattoo, no chance at finding The One. No matter people’s beliefs or how hard they try to fight it, Fate has a funny way of working itself out. 

Scientists have devoted their entire lives to solve the mystery of the tattoos, as long as they’ve been around: how they work, what determines two people to be soulmates? Is it something chemical? Is it a physical attribute? Scientists have been unsuccessful in finding anything conclusive.

All anyone really knows is that within a week of a person’s eighteenth birthday, the first words their soulmate will ever speak to them appear somewhere on their body. Their partner’s appears on the same body part, but on the opposite side of the body. When they finally meet, and consequently say the words to each other for the first time, the tattoos throb alerting them to their soulmates’ presence. 

Harry has always been intrigued by the entire concept of meeting his other half and spending the rest of his life with them. Even before he could even comprehend just exactly what a soulmate even was; he saw the text on his mother’s left wrist for the first time, at just five years old. From that moment on, he couldn’t wait for his own eighteenth birthday to get his. 

“I’ve got one,” Harry says with a smirk. “One night stand, and the first thing they say to you is ‘I wanna suck your cock.’”

“How the hell do you come up with these things? Aren’t you supposed to be the innocent one in our friendship?” Louis laughs as he throws a handful of popcorn at Harry.

“I guess you’ve just rubbed off on me,” Harry smirks.

“Hmmm, maybe if your mum wasn’t two rooms over,“ Louis says mockingly.

Harry and Louis have always been close. After ten years of friendship it’s hard not to be. They tell each other everything and have spent more nights together than have alone. They had an actual party for the ten year anniversary of their friendship, with gifts and everything.

They’re that couple the one everyone says are ‘so gross’ but wants to be in. The kind of couple that is perpetually stuck in their honeymoon phase. The power couple. 

Except, they're just friends. Totally platonic, except for maybe a few hands jobs back when they were younger and trying to figure out their sexualities. It didn't come as a surprise to anyone when they both came out. 

Everyone thinks Louis and Harry are dating. It doesn't matter how many times they've said they aren't, the whole school sees them as #relationshipgoals. And even though neither Louis nor Harry have their soulmate tattoos just yet, everyone just assumes they will be. 

Louis and Harry are content with the way their friendship is, they like being able to joke about anything ,but also tell each other their hopes and fears. They are confident and comfortable enough that it doesn't matter what other people say. Louis and Harry know where they stand so it doesn't matter what others think.

“So, are you getting excited? It could be any day now,” Harry says as he stretches his legs out just a bit.

“Course I am. Really nervous as well,” Louis replies as he stares at the TV.

“What's there to be nervous about? You're one step closer to finding your soulmate.”

“I don't know,” Louis sighs and brings his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. “It's just kinda scary, I guess. I mean what if I don't like them?”

“Lou, I'm pretty sure that's the exact opposite of a soulmate.”

“You know what I mean. Everyone puts such an emphasis on finding your soulmate. And it doesn't help that the whole bloody school thinks that we are soulmates. I'm pretty sure our mums are planning the ceremony already.”

“I mean at least we won't have to worry about it,” Harry teases. 

“Shut it, Harold.” Louis smacks Harry blindly, just barely grazing his feet. “It's just stressful, I feel like... I have to somehow live up to everyone's expectations. It's silly.” Louis waves his hand dismissively.

They fall quiet as the last few minutes of the film plays. 

“It's not silly,” Harry says as the credits roll. 

“Really?” Louis asks hopefully, looking at Harry. 

“Yeah. I'm scared too, even though I won't get mine for like, over two years,” Harry replies, as he scooches closer to Louis. “It's like… you don't get a choice in who you end up with.”

“Exactly! It's like you meet this person before knowing anything about them, and you're expected to be with them. Just like that.” 

“Some people do meet before they're eighteen though,” Harry points out.

“Yeah...”

“It'll be fine, Lou. I've never heard of two soulmates that aren't happy together.” 

“I know, I know but still,” Louis sighs.

“Look, there's no reason to stress about it now. It could take years til you meet your soulmate. Having your tattoo appear doesn't mean you'll find them in like three days. Yeah?”

“Yeah, I guess you're right.” Louis sighs.

“Okay that's settled,” Harry says before getting up to take out the DVD. “What do you want to watch next? Footprints in the Sand or Mismatched?” Harry holds up the cases for both.

“Hmmm... I mean they're both cinematic masterpieces of our time.” Louis answers, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“You're a fucking idiot.”

“That's not very nice, Harold,” Louis says indignantly.

“Just choose.” Harry rolls his eyes. 

“Fine then, Mr. Bossy, ummmm... Let's go with Mismatched.”

“Mismatched, it is then,” Harry says. He puts the DVD in and returns to his end of the couch.

They fall into a comfortable silence, both lost in their own thoughts.

\---

“Will you please just look?” Louis practically begs.

“No,” Harry replies firmly, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Please?” Louis pulls out the puppy eyes.

“Lou, no.”

“Pretty please?” 

“I'm not looking at your ass,” Harry says exasperatedly. 

There are still two days left until Louis’ birthday, and no tattoo, which means Louis is a nervous wreck. He's convinced that he'll be one of the rare people that never get tattoos, which Harry has had to talk Louis out of what seems like an infinite amount of times. Harry really wants to tear his hair out from the amount of secondhand anxiety Louis is giving him. He doesn't think he can handle another minute of this. Louis had invited Harry over to play FIFA, but just a few minutes into their first game Louis paused it to check for his tattoo. That was half an hour ago and they haven't unpaused the game yet. 

“I would do it for you!” Louis exclaims.

“You do know that mirrors exist right?” Harry asks.

Louis looks at Harry in awe, as if the thought had never occurred to him, and runs off to the bathroom before Harry can say anything else. He's back in less than a minute with a defeated look on his face.

“Nothing,” he says disappointedly as he sits on the couch. 

“Your birthday is in two days, you have time Lou.” Harry goes to put an arm around Louis’ shoulder, but Louis decides to lay downing his side, with his head in Harry's lap. 

“But what if....” Louis starts. 

“No What if’s,” Harry says seriously, carding his hand through Louis’ hair. “You are going to get your tattoo in less than 48 hours and then you can relax a little bit before you freak out about finding your soulmate.”

“Ha ha, you're so funny,” Louis says in a monotone voice. 

“I just know you too well,” Harry teases. 

Louis doesn't respond for a minute.

“Maybe it would be easier if we were soulmates,” Louis sighs.

“Maybe, but we aren't.”

“How do you know?” Louis rolls onto his back, looking up at Harry. Harry thinks about it for a second before answering. 

“I don't. But I do know you're just making things up to make yourself feel better right now.”

“Yeah, probably,” Louis says dejectedly. 

“You'll find your other half before too long. There's no need for you to settle for little old me.”

“You're a total catch. Whoever you end up with will be lucky.” Louis reaches up to pinch Harry's cheek.

“Thanks, Mum.”

“‘S true,” Louis shrugs, resting his hand against Harry's cheek despite the slightly awkward angle. “I think as your best friend of ten years I can say that.”

“You're such...” Harry stops when he sees a small black mark on Louis’ inner bicep that definitely wasn't there a few minutes ago. 

“Haz?” Louis asks, clearly concerned.

“Lou, your arm!”

Louis does a double take when he sees the tattoo that wasn’t there a minute ago, and will now be with him forever.

“Holy shit!” Louis yells, sitting up and nearly hitting Harry in the face. “Fucking hell.” Louis can’t help, but run two fingers over the small mark. 

“What does it say?” Harry asks.

“Oops!” Louis replies, almost reverently.

“It’s a bit vague.”

“Yeah,” Louis says distractedly, still running his fingers over it. He can’t tear his eyes away from it.

“Alright I’ll just leave you two alone then,” Harry says, as he goes to the front door and puts his coat on. Louis hums noncommittally. “Goodbye, then.”

“Bye.”

“Maybe forever,” Harry sighs dramatically. “I think I’m going to fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming a stripper for the circus.”

“‘kay. See ya, Hazza.”

Harry laughs to himself as he shuts the door without another word. He shivers slightly, it’s a bit chillier than it was when he left, but he doesn’t mind. He’s walked this path in much worse conditions than this over the course of ten years. He passes by the park where he first met Louis, and can’t help but smile. Harry is happy for his best friend, and knows how difficult it was for him to finally accept the whole soulmate thing. 

“I’m home!” Harry yells into the house as he opens up the door and toes off his shoes. 

“How’s Louis, dear?” his mum calls. Harry follows her voice into the kitchen where she’s making a cup of tea. 

“Good,” he replies, leaning against the doorjamb. “Got his tattoo today.”

“Oooh, that’s exciting. What’s it say?” Anne asks distractedly as she puts a tea bag in the cup.

“Oops!”

Anne pauses for second before saying “That's interesting.”

“What is?”

“Oh, nothing I just had some time today and was going through some old photos. Lots of you and Louis. And I just remember you coming home from the park with bruises and scratches all over, but the biggest smile on your face and you told me word for word how you met Louis.” 

And like lightning during a storm, the memory of that day immediately comes to the forefront of Harry's mind 

 

_The sun is shining for once, which is about all you can ask for in England, and there’s a warm breeze that brings some relief to the sweat clinging to Harry’s small body. The perfect day to practice._

_He’s at the park down the street and he’s very excited because his mom finally let him come alone for once. He’s a big boy now at five years old, but right now in this park he needs to improve his footie skills. He's so clumsy, his mom says it’s just because he's growing but Harry’s not sure he believes her. It's hard to practice alone, but he doesn't really have that many friends and that's okay because he will one day. One day when he’s even bigger than he is right now, he’ll have the bestest friend ever. They’ll have matching tattoos, and they’ll play videogames all day long._

_Harry starts kicking the ball down the grassy field, his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth in concentration, enjoying the rush of adrenaline that courses through his body. He's actually doing pretty well, he's gone about ten feet without falling on his face. He looks up from the ball towards the makeshift goal he made with his other pair of non-football shoes and sees a boy, about his age, standing in the middle of the goal. Harry’s so startled that he manages to trip over over the ball and the next thing he knows his mouth is full of dirt and grass._

_Harry picks himself up slowly, he just sits on the ground, and he doesn't really want to cry in front of this stranger. Who is now standing in front of him._

_"Oops!" Harry says._

_"Hi," the boy says with an outstretched hand._

“Shit,” Harry breathes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is un beta'd and probably a bit shorter than what I would like, but I felt as though ive waited way to long too post this anyway. I am going to try to post every two weeks, but with school right now that isn't going to happen.  
> I am so glad everyone enjoyed the first chapter i'm very excited to be continuing this work and like I said on the first chapter i do intend to finish this fic, but I understand if people are hesitant with WIPs I know I am
> 
> anyway, hope you emjoy this as much as the first!

“You ready to go, sweetie?” 

“Wha’?” Harry asks distractedly. 

“Where have you been in that head of yours the last few days?” Anne replies, concern clear in her voice.

“Just thinking.” Harry puts his coat on.

“About what?” Anne opens the front door.

“Nothing,” Harry mumbles as he walks to the car.

Harry is still freaking the fuck out, to be quite honest. Like he and Louis are soulmates, well they could be... the chances are like a million to one. Or something like that. It's not that Harry hasn't thought about the possibility before; Louis and him were joking about it just a few days ago. But they’ve never actually been serious about it.

Harry has never had romantic thoughts about his best friend. But that’s not entirely true really, there have definitely been more than a few times that Harry has gotten off to the thought of Louis. Something he would never tell anyone, because you’re not supposed to get off to thoughts of your best friend. He can’t deny at the very least he’s attracted to Louis. 

But the real dilemma isn’t anything to do with his own feelings. No, those are taking a backseat to Louis’ own feelings when Harry tells him. If Harry tells him, he doesn’t want to get Louis’ hopes up. Harry would feel so incredibly guilty if two years down the road, once he finally has his tattoo, it turns out that they aren’t soulmates at all. Harry would feel like he had wasted Louis’ precious time, knows how much Louis wants to find his soulmate. Knows how shitty things had been when his dad left. And how happy Louis was when his mum had found her actual soulmate. 

Harry couldn’t possibly imagine ruining that for Louis. So he’s gonna see how Louis’ birthday goes and decide after. Whatever decision he makes may come back to bite him in the ass, but Louis has had his tattoo for a total of two days and Harry doesn’t need to burst whatever bubble he’s living in. Because if they aren’t and for whatever reason Louis doesn’t want to be friends after Harry tells him... well Harry doesn’t think he could handle that. They're still HarryandLouis, and nothing will ever change that, but are they really destined to be together?

“Harry, love we’re here.” Anne says putting the car in park.

“Hmm?” 

“You’re still thinking about you and Louis aren’t you love?” Anne asks gently.

“What?” Harry looks at his mum so quickly he’ll definitely feel it later on. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I know you too all well, love. Something’s been on your mind and you’ve been acting strange since Louis got his tattoo. Do you wanna talk about it?”

“I...I...um...um” Harry looks out the window. They’re sitting in front of Louis’ house. It’s been a tradition for as long as Harry can remember to spend Christmas Eve with Louis and his family. Except it’s for Louis’ birthday. Nobody is allowed to even mention Christmas or Santa. Everybody always pointedly ignores the tree that sits in the corner of the living room, as Louis opens up his birthday presents. Harry sees Louis open the front door and wave at him wildly. Harry waves back less enthusiastically. “Later, yeah?” He gets out of the car without another word.

“You haven’t answered any of my texts or calls, you fucker,” Louis pouts as soon as Harry is on the porch. 

“Sorry, been busy.” Harry shrugs.

“Does the birthday boy not get a hug then?” Louis holds out his arms waiting expectantly. He’s wearing a tank top. A fucking tank top in the middle of winter. With the “Oops” on his arm is perfectly on display.

“You’re wearing a tank top,” Harry says dumbly.

“Good observation, Harold.”

“In winter.”

“I’m the birthday boy. I can wear whatever I damn well please. Now give me a hug or I’ll stand out here ‘til I get hypothermia and die.”

“Fine.” Harry rolls his eyes, but gives Louis a hug anyway. He pulls away as quickly as Louis will let him. “Let’s get inside now.”

“Please. I’d rather not freeze out here,” Anne says from behind Harry. Louis quickly moves out of the way and lets her through. Harry moves to follow, but Louis stops him.

“Y’alright, Harry?” Concern clear on his face.

“Course, why wouldn’t I be?” 

“I don’t know. You just seem off today. Is something bothering you?” 

Yes, Harry wants to say. 

“No,” is what he actually says. 

“If you say so.” Louis shrugs. “C’mon let’s go get some cider.” Louis grabs Harry’s wrist and pulls him into the house. 

Harry feels a slight flutter in his stomach, and he isn’t so sure he’ll be able to survive today. 

\---

As Harry flops down onto his bed after a full day celebrating Louis, he’s decided to most definitely not tell Louis about remembering the day they first met. The only thing Harry heard Louis talk about all day was his tattoo, in one way or another. About how excited he was to meet his soulmate, and what his soulmate could possibly have on their arm. And Harry just had to sit there and listen, without saying a single word. And there had been so many opportunities throughout the day. But Harry would just dig his nails into his arm or leg to keep his own mouth shut.

It’s not that he’s scared of their relationship changing forever once he tells Louis, but...that’s exactly what he’s afraid of. He doesn’t want to plant the idea of romantic feelings in Louis’ head. They’ve already taken root in Harry’s own mind, analyzing every touch they’ve ever shared and conversation they’ve ever had. How had Harry never realized how co-dependent they actually are. And if he’s wrong, then Louis’ hopes get up for nothing. So he’s not gonna tell him. Not right away anyway. He just needs to wait for the perfect opportunity.

\---

“Happy Christmas, Mum,” Harry says as he walks into the kitchen the next morning.

“Happy Christmas, love.” Anne replies, and sets down two cups of tea on the table. “Gemma’s gonna be here in about twenty minutes. So you and I can talk about what’s been on your mind.”

“There’s nothing on my mind,” Harry mumbles as he puts sugar in his tea.

“I’m your mother. I can tell when something is bothering you.” Anne sits across from Harry.

“I just... Well you see...” Harry searches for the best way to tell his mum.

“You and Louis might be soulmates.” Anne states matter of factly. 

“What?’ Harry’s head snaps up.

“You look at that boy like he’s the sun. You’ve practically been joined at the hip from the word go. There’s no doubt in my mind that you’re soulmates.”

“But what if we aren’t?” Harry asks incredulously. “What if I tell him and it fucks up our relationship? Not make it better?”

“Do you really think Louis would be so shallow to end your friendship over something like this?”

“It’s not that simple!” Harry throws up his hands.

“Why?” Anne asks simply.

“It’s just...not.” Harry replies defeatedly. 

“I think you just need to find the right time to tell him. Sooner rather than later.”

“That’s the problem...” Harry starts. He’s interrupted by the front door slamming open and the sound of a suitcase rolling on the floor.

“We’ll talk about this later okay H?” Anne asks quietly.

“Yeah..” Harry practically whispers. _Later_ just like his conversation with Louis about all of this will be.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay, but with school and work I've had no motivation nor time to write anything for this fic. But I sat down and got this out in a night and am very excited to post it which is why it is un beta'd but yeah I hope you guys enjoy :)

The rest of Harry’s break is uneventful. Things have gone back to normal with Louis, well as normal as they possibly can. They hang out a few days after Christmas and Louis had called Harry out on acting strange yet again. Apparently Harry wasn’t putting enough effort into their three hour Mario Kart marathon. It’s not that he doesn’t care about finally unlocking Mirror Mode in one sitting, he just feels a little strange about the whole tattoo thing. The one thing he can’t tell Louis; he can’t really tell anyone really. His mum still admonishes him any time he bring Louis up. Gemma will just give him an endless amount of shit, and it’s not as if he’s super close to anyone else at school. And so telling anyone from school would just make the rumors about him and Louis worse, and Harry does not need that in his life. Except for maybe Niall, who has conveniently been in Ireland for the entirety of this shit and is completely oblivious to what’s happened. 

Which is exactly why Harry invites Niall over, as soon as he hears his Irish friend is back in town. He feels the tiniest bit guilty about lying to Louis about hanging out with Gemma today, but he needs someone that is the tiniest bit objective about the whole thing, which proves to be a lot harder than he expected.

“So tell him what’s the big deal?” Niall says as soon as Harry explains everything.

“Ughhhh,” Harry groans, burying his head in his hands. “This is hopeless.”

“What is? Just tell him.” Niall spins around in Harry’s desk chair uninterestedly. 

“But I can’t Niall,” Harry replies from his bed, looking at Niall wearily.

“It’s pretty fucking clear you two are soulmates. And I’ve only been around here for a couple years and I could tell that. Have you guys really never talked about this?”

“We mention it...in passing.”

“You guys joking about it doesn’t count.” Niall answers seriously. “Have you ever talked to each other about your relationship at all? Like actually properly sat down and talked about your feelings?”

Harry thinks for a second before responding. “No.” he shakes his head. “We haven’t even like ‘come out’ or whatever that old phrase is.”

“Well, I mean you guys don’t have to obviously. Like that stopped being a thing after soulmates came around.”

“Exactly! But isn’t the point of the tattoos supposed to make things easier?” Harry flops back onto his bed dramatically.

“So you do think he’s your soulmate,” Niall states.

“I never said that.” he glares at Niall.

“You don’t have to mate,” Niall says smugly.

“We’re just friends!” Harry practically yells, clearly exasperated by his friend.

“Coulda fooled me, mate.” Niall rolls his eyes. “Have you taken your own feelings into consideration with all of this?” 

“What do you mean?” Harry questions.

“What do I mean?!” Niall asks incredulously, looking at Harry like he has two heads. “I mean you've definitely considered Louis in all of this, but have you actually stopped to think about your own feelings?” 

Harry opens his mouth to reply, but nothing comes out. Niall has a good point. Over the last few days he's only barely thought about his own feelings about all of this. He's spent too much time being overly concerned with how Louis might react. 

“Not really no,” Harry replies sheepishly.

“Harry, you need to do that. Like really, really think about them and figure out how you feel about him. That's what this boils down to,” Niall says seriously. “If you like him as just a friend then you don't need to tell him. But if it's more than that... you may come to regret not telling him.” 

“But what if...” 

“No ifs Harry,” Niall cuts him off with a stern look. “Now I'm gonna go because I've said me two cents and you clearly need to think more about all of this.” Without another word he gets up and leaves. 

Harry lies on his bed for nearly an hour, just staring at the ceiling and thinking. He thinks about how he feels. And he can't help but feel absolutely ridiculous even thinking about for so long. It’s like he's in one of the cliched romantic comedies Louis loves so much. His mind wanders to their most recent marathon, sitting on the couch with Louis. About how Louis somehow always ropes him into these marathons, even when it’s the last thing Harry wants to do. He thinks back to how easily he had let Louis invade his space on the couch, how he always lets Louis easily invade his space.

Harry thinks of all the movie they’ve watched on the same couch, legs slightly intertwined, and how it should probably be weird that they sit like that. He never sits like that with Niall, there are a lot of things he doesn’t do with Niall, like talking in the dead of night about their feelings on Louis’ miniscule twin bed, a bed that has only gotten smaller over the years, only to wake up in the morning with Louis asleep on top of him with their legs tangled. 

The more Harry thinks about it, the more he realizes that maybe his relationship with Louis isn’t as platonic as he thinks it is. Maybe, just maybe Louis makes Harry feel like nobody else does. And maybe he isn’t entirely opposed to the thought of them being soulmates. And so he decides to tell Louis within the next few days, all Harry needs is a window of opportunity.

And so he waits, but the perfect time never really seems come up. He wants to blurt it out during a paused game of Super Smash Bros but that seems entirely too casual. He also seriously considers telling Louis in one of the many times he’s gushing about his tattoo and potential soulmate. It would be the perfect time really, an organic way to bring it up, but those conversations just remind Harry of all the cons to telling Louis.

Harry’s personal deadline of a few days, slowly turns into a couple of weeks; and they're back at school for a new semester. And everyone is absolutely fawning over Louis’ tattoo. He's not not the first person to get their tattoo in the school, but everyone is intrigued nonetheless. Louis just eats up all of the attention, which is nothing new. But what is new, is the feeling in Harry’s stomach, he doesn’t like it.

“You’re jealous,” Niall says as he sits down at their usual table for lunch.

“No I’m not,” Harry mumbles, stabbing his macaroni.

“And I’m not blind. And neither is anyone else at this school for that matter.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Harry asks confusedly.

“It means that people are already starting to talk, mate.” Niall bites into an apple. “Ya’ haven’ noticed?”

“No.” Harry looks around the cafeteria now, and he notices a lot of people turning away quickly to whisper to their friends. “What are people saying then?”

“The usual. Mixed with rumors about a fight or a break up or summat,” Niall says, lazily waving his fork around.

“But we aren’t fighting or dating!” Harry exclaims, his fork clatters dramatically when he drops it onto his plate.

“We know that, but they don’t. You two are the fucking Brangelina of this school, even if you aren’t together. People make shit up.”

Harry thinks for a minute before saying, “Why did you say I was jealous as soon as you sat down?”

“Because it’s plain as day.” Niall shrugs, “I’m assuming you figured out your feelings about Louis and the whole tattoo thing. And well... like I said I’m not blind. Also I pay attention.”

“Do you think Louis knows?” Harry whispers, worry clear in his voice.

“He’s too busy in the limelight right now, mate.” Niall rolls his eyes. 

“Where is he anyway?” Harry asks a little bit louder, looking around to try and find his best friend.

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Niall replies. 

“Yeah.”

“You need to tell him soon, Harry. I can see how this is affecting you, and it’s not good for any of us.” Niall says seriously.

“I will. I’m just looking for the perfect opportunity. Can we just drop it?”

“Alright whatever you want.” Niall holds his arms up in surrender.

They eat in silence for the rest of lunch.

\---

Harry doesn’t see Louis at all for the rest of the day, and it’s not for lack of trying, Louis is nowhere to be found anywhere on campus. Which means he must’ve skipped class. Which is fine, Louis is his own person, but he usually invites Harry to join him or at the very least tells him he’s leaving. And that’s fine, they aren’t conjoined twins or anything. It just seems strange that Louis would skip when he’s still the hottest gossip. Harry knows Louis is going to milk it for all it’s worth, and has been for the past week. But whatever, Louis probably just forgot, he is easily distractible like a five year old.

And so Harry goes home on a Friday night with no plans whatsoever, for the first time in years. The first thing Harry does when he gets home from school is text Louis about hanging out. He makes himself a snack while he waits for a response, that doesn’t get. Louis always responds within ten minutes, he’s one of those people who always has his phone within two feet of him. It’s just one text though, it’s not that strange. Right? Before Harry’s allows himself to over analyze the lack of response he decides that some alone time would be a good thing considering everything that is going on. And so he pulls up season 4 of Breaking Bad on Netflix and settles in to finish off the series.   
\---

It’s Monday morning and Louis still hasn’t responded to any of Harry’s numerous texts he sent throughout the weekend. A weekend that Harry most definitely did not spend moping around waiting for Louis to finally respond. Harry is just going to talk to him on the way to school, and actually tell Louis about everything, because his weekend was very boring. But when he stops by Louis’ house Jay says he’s already left for the day. Which, okay that’s a first. Harry wonders if Louis could possibly be mad at him, but quickly pushes the thought out of his head. So he walks to school alone, for the first time he can remember, and that’s okay, it just gives him more time to practice what he wants to say to Louis. 

As soon as he walks into school he can tell something is up. As he walks down the hall people are staring at him and whispering behind their hands. He’s kinda used to it a little bit, but the whispering is never this blatant nor so numerous. Harry tries to shake it off as he walks to his locker, focusing on telling Louis what he needs too. He sees someone standing by his locker really hopes it’s Louis, but that shock of bleach blond hair is unmistakable.

“What’s up Nialler?” Harry does the combination on his locker.

“You haven’t heard then,” Niall says knowingly.

“Heard what?”

“Have you seen Louis today?” 

“No, but I really need to talk to him. Would you know where he is by chance?” Harry grabs a couple books.

“He’s um...well...”

“Hazza!” someone yells cheerfully from behind.

And Harry would know that voice anywhere. He turns around with a huge smile on his face to see Louis standing there hand in hand with a random blonde guy. Harry’s smile disappears as soon as it appeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please don't hate me 
> 
> leave kudos and comments plz I would love to hear what you think


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm such a piece of shit for not updating this sooner. Lots of things have been happening in my life and not all of them good so this fic has been moved to the back burner a little bit. I still plan to finish this fic if you wonderful readers are still here and willing to wait for my irregular updates. This is unbeta'd It's also been a very long day but I was inspired so here you go.

“I hate him,” Harry says as he slams his locker shut and leans against it.

“No, really,” Niall replies monotonously, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

“He’s just so smug, like all the time. He thinks he’s hot shit -”

“Louis likes him,” Niall interrupts.

“Yeah well that doesn't count. Louis is blinded by infatuation,” Harry scoffs.

“And you aren't?” Niall asks incredulously.

“We’ve been best friends for a decade. It's totally different. Louis hardly knows Declan,” Harry says defensively. “ Besides why are you siding with him anyway?”

“I’m not I’m just pointing out some facts you’ve seemed to miss.”

It's been three weeks since Louis introduced Declan as his “boyfriend”, and potential soulmate. They'd officially met at a coffee shop while Louis was skipping school. Declan had spilled his coffee all over Louis. And the rest, as they say, is history. 

Ever since then, the two have been all over each other, constantly holding hands and giving each other pecks on the cheek before every class. It makes Harry feel sick. How the two are just so lovey-dovey. It's totally disgusting, he doesn’t see why they have to do it. It's not that he hates Declan, he just doesn't like his personality. Maybe under different circumstances Harry would like him, but as it were, he can barely stand to be around him for more than he absolutely has to. One of the worst parts is that Declan isn’t eighteen for another month. Which means Harry will have to deal with him until then, at the very least.

And it doesn't help that Louis is still stuck in the honeymoon phase, so he fails to notice that Declan is a complete asshat. He only ever talks about how great he is and doesn't seem remotely interested in talking about anything else. Harry can't believe Louis can even stand to be around the guy considering how he plays for the rival club team. Louis used to go on and on about how much he hated the opposing goalie who he had never actually talked to. Harry can't fathom what is going on in Louis’ mind. Except he knows exactly how much a potential soulmate means to his best friend, hasn’t been able to stop thinking about it for weeks now.

Harry’s slight obsession with Declan has absolutely nothing to do with jealousy. He’s definitely not pissed that Louis has canceled their plans last minute every single night the past two weeks. Or that he can’t even get a minute alone with Louis. He just wants to talk to Louis, but he can't even talk about what’s bothering him the most. If he does, Louis will only get angry, and accuse him of lying. If only Harry had gotten the guts to tell Louis about his feelings a few days sooner, and then they could have completely avoided this scenario.

“I don't fucking get it,” Harry starts walking down the corridor.

“I mean we were both expecting for this to happen at some point right?” Niall asks as he follows Harry. They both know how crazy Louis is about meeting his soulmate, and how he’ll jump at any chance to do so. Even if it’s finally talking to someone he’s despised from afar for years.

“Well I was hoping to tell him before it ever happened,” Harry groans.

“You waited for like a month, mate.” Niall points out.

“I was building up the courage!” Harry protests.

“Built it up a little too long really,” Niall rolls his eyes. 

“Tell me something I don't fucking know. Let's talk about how much of an idiot I am some more after class.” Harry walks backward around a corner, only to bump into someone. “Oops.” He quickly turns around only to come face to face with Louis, he desperately hopes Louis didn't hear anything.

“Hey, Haz,” Louis says with a big grin, like nothing's off between the two of them. Maybe he's not even aware of it. It's not really Louis’ fault that Harry can't figure his shit out “Why are you an idiot this time?” 

“Oh..., um not...studying...for an exam,” Harry stutters out.

“Not the most idiotic thing you've ever done,” Louis jokes. 

“You have no fucking idea,” Harry replies, then shakes his head. “What's been going on with you?” 

“Not much, just hanging out with Dec,” Louis says with a huge smile. “He's so great. I really hope he's the one, yah know. Wouldn't that be just awesome?” 

“So, so awesome,” Harry replies with no enthusiasm.

“Is something wrong, Haz?” Louis asks, worry clear in his voice.

“Course not. Why’d you ask?” 

“You just seem...I don't know off, I guess,” Louis says, looking hurt.

“Nope,” Harry replies, popping the ‘p’.

“Is this because we haven't been hanging out a lot recently?” Louis asks earnestly.

“I mean, do kinda miss our movie marathons,” Harry says dejectedly, staring at his feet.

“Shit, I've totally been bailing on best mate duties ever since I met Declan haven't I?”

“No, no that's not it...” Harry starts.

“I never thought I'd be that wanker who forgets all about his friends once he gets a boyfriend.” Louis says guiltily. “You free tomorrow? Dec and I were gonna do something, but I can cancel.”

“You don't have to do that,” Harry protests weakly. 

“Too late I’ve already made up my mind. We’ll have a good old fashioned Hazza and Lou movie marathon.” Louis smiles widely, like it’s the best idea in the history of the universe, and honestly Harry could never say no to Louis. 

“Fine. You've worn me down you bastard!” Harry laughs. 

“It's a date then,” Louis says. Harry wills the butterflies in his stomach to just drop dead. 

“Uh, yup. Sounds good,” Harry gulps. The warning bell for class rings, startling the two boys. “Well I have Walsh this period don't wanna miss his riveting lecture on the marvelous, nay, glorious ladybird.”

Louis laughs, and for a moment everything seems normal. That moment is shattered when Declan appears from nowhere and grabs Louis’ hand. Harry can't walk away fast enough. 

\---

Saturday seems to come all too quickly and not quickly enough for Harry's taste. It's not like he's nervous to hang out with Louis he's just excited more than anything else. Ready for some much needed one-on-one time with him, hadn't realized how desperately he had been craving it, like some primal desire deep in his bones. Like Harry needs Louis’ friendship to survive, which at this point Harry can't even deny.

Harry doesn't knock when he gets to Louis’ house, hasn't knocked in years. And two weeks of slight awkwardness is not going to change that, but he immediately regrets it when he sees Louis and Declan making out on the couch in the living room. Their sacred movie marathon couch. 

Harry obviously knows they kiss, but seeing it right before his eyes is just a bit too much for his fragile heart. He clears his throat in a very obvious way, and when the two don't immediately jump apart he slams the front door closed. Louis pulls back and shoots a glare in the general directionless the door, but it instantly turns into a huge grin when he sees it's Harry and not one of his many siblings ruining the moment.

“Hazza!” Louis practically screeches, scrambling off of Declan’s lap to give his best friend a hug. “It feels like it's been forever!” Harry wants nothing more than to wrap both arms around Louis and never let go, like he used to, but Declan’s stare keeps him from doing so.

“Uh, yeah,” Harry replies slowly, trying to extricate himself from the hug as subtly as possible. “It really has.” Louis frowns slightly at Harry's actions but doesn't say anything. 

“C’mon then,” Louis grabs Harry’s hand and tugs him towards the couch. Harry stumbles over the edge of the rug in the hall, nearly falling on his face. “Clumsy Hazza,” Louis giggles. Harry would laugh too, if he couldn't feel Declan’s icy stare still trained on him. 

“Yup, that's me. So clumsy,” he replies awkwardly. 

“I hope you don't mind that Declan's here,” Louis says, sitting in the middle of the couch. “He said he hasn't seen a lot of the crappy films we like.”

“‘S okay,” Harry mumbles, sitting next to Louis. Harry had been so looking forward to a day alone with Louis, and now he gets to watch him and Declan cuddling and flirting all day. He can handle this, he's a mature person who can totally handle the sickening sight of Declan whispering into Louis’ ear with a glint in his eyes that makes Harry uncomfortable. 

\--- 

Overall, Saturday hadn't been that bad. Sure, Declan kept staring at him weirdly throughout the day and Harry could do with never hearing Declan's annoying laugh ever again. But he did get to spend time with Louis, and after the initial awkwardness, it was like the last two weeks hadn't happened. Every time Louis would laugh, and Harry got to look at that beautiful crinkly-eyed smile, his heart would skip a beat. 

Harry still doesn't like Declan, but he didn't dream about strangling him for once so that's something. He thinks maybe for now he won't burst Louis’ little honeymoon bubble. He may not like Declan, but Louis does and Harry would never break a couple up for selfish reasons. Harry has more important things to worry about than his nonexistent love life, like his essay that’s due in two days, and he hasn't even started on it. He’s minding his own business, grabbing books of his next class from his locker, when someone slams a hand against the locker to his right. It's Declan, with a very unhappy look on his face.

“Declan,” Harry says, closing his locker, slightly taken aback. “Y’alright?”

“Stay away from Louis.” Declan replies, crowding into Harry's space.

“I'm sorry what?”

“You heard me. Stay away from him.” 

“That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.” Harry scoffs and rolls his eyes.

“What the fuck did you say?” Declan pushes Harry into the locker. 

“What's your problem, mate?” Harry dares to reply. Declan's nostrils flare and he leans in closer to Harry, hovering over him.

“You think I don't see the way you look at him?” 

“I-I don't know what you mean,” Harry says with alarms going off in his head. 

“I think you do. I think you're jealous. And I want you to stay away from him or I’ll tell him about your little crush. Got it?” 

Harry thinks through his options in a split second. He takes a quick breath before replying, “No.” 

“Wanna try again?” 

“You heard me,” Harry says defiantly, pushing himself away from the locker. “I've known Louis practically my whole life and I'm not gonna stop talking to him now because of someone he's known all of three weeks. So go ahead tell him. But if you really think that Louis would end our friendship over something as silly as a crush then you really don’t know him at all.”

Harry walks down the corridor without another glance towards Declan. He's determined to not let Decland drive another wedge into his relationship with Louis.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so very sorry for being so late with this chapter I've had a lot of personal stuff going on and no motivation, but it's back now and so I am gonna try to update much more frequently. I promise it won't be another 6 months until i update again. 
> 
> Also, shoutout to my beta [blue-louis](http://www.blue-louis.tumblr.com)

The next day, Harry is doing homework on his bed, trying his best to absorb the information on the page, but the words just seems to swirl around his head for a brief moment before disappearing. His mind is stuck on the same thing he's been thinking about for weeks now: Louis and Declan. He feels like a broken record just thinking about how they don't belong together He’d been staring at the same page for nearly ten minutes, when he's interrupted by the very person he doesn't want to think about the most barging into his room totally unannounced. 

“What the fuck,” Louis says striding in like he owns the place. Harry jumps slightly at the interruption.

“I could say the same thing,” Harry replies, clutching his chest, as he feels his heart beating rapidly. “Ever hear of knocking?” 

“Did you threaten Declan?” Louis snaps, crossing his arms. There's a fire in his eyes that Harry has never seen before. 

“What?” Harry asks incredulously, as he closes his textbook. 

“Declan told me that you threatened him to stay away from me. Is it true?” Louis says with a steely gaze. 

“Wha- of course not. Where is this coming from?” 

“Declan says you pushed him up against his locker yesterday,” Louis raises an eyebrow in challenge. 

“Are you serious?” Harry replies. He finally gets off his bed to stand face to face with Louis. “Does it look like I'm physically capable of that? He's like a foot taller than me!” 

“Just tell me if you did it,” Louis sighs, uncrossing his arms.

“I have no reason to threaten him,” Harry replies, fists clenching.. 

“Look I know you don't like him that much,” Louis’ anger deflating just the slightest. “Things have obviously been tense between us since I met Declan, but you don't need to do stuff like this to get my attention.” 

“You are unbelievable!” Harry laughs humorlessly and throws his hands up. 

“I'm sorry what?” Louis says taken aback.

“You actually think I threatened him? You actually think that I would do that to your boyfriend?” Harry takes a step forward.

“Well-” Louis starts, taking a step back. 

“I know how much your soulmate means to you and it might be him or it might not. But that doesn't mean you get to treat me like shit because he can't handle how close we are.” 

“I haven't been treating you like shit, that's not fair,” Louis says softly.

“Oh no? Because this, right now, feels pretty shitty to me. You're so infatuated with that asshole that you won't take my word for it.” 

“Harry... I...” Louis stammers

“Let me guess, you're sorry. Well, I don't accept your apology,” Harry practically yells. “I'm shocked that you're choosing to believe a guy who might be your soulmate over your best mate of ten years. You can't just assume that every person who says your words and doesn't have a tattoo is your soulmate! You’ll go mad if you do that.” Harry is breathing heavily when he’s done. 

The tension in the room is palpable as Louis and Harry stare at each other for a few moments. Harry sees a flicker of something in Louis’ eyes for a millisecond, but it's gone before he can identify what it was.. 

“Well, don't hold back by any means,” Louis replies with tears in his eyes. “I’m just gonna go then.” Louis starts to turn away from Harry.

“Lou...” Harry reaches out for Louis’ arm.

“No,” Louis says sharply, pulling his arm away from his friend. “You said what you needed to and now you can’t take it back. Stay away from me.” Louis slams the door behind him. Harry doesn’t move to follow after him, he just sits on the edge of his bed with a sigh. He knows going after Louis is futile, all he needs is some time to cool down, and then Harry can properly apologize. And if that doesn’t work... well Harry’s not really sure, he and Louis have never not made their amends in a few days. 

Harry knows he shouldn’t have said what he did, but he just couldn’t hold his true feelings back any longer. There’s a soft knock on the door before Harry’s mum enters his room.

“I saw Louis leave. Seemed like he was in a rush to get out of here,” Anne says, sitting next to her son. 

“We had a fight,” Harry admits.

“Oh I’m sorry, love,” Anne rubs his back comfortingly. “What about?” 

“I told him how I really feel about his boyfriend and now he’s mad.”

“Why did you do that?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Harry mumbles, staring at the ground. 

“You can tell me anything you know that right?” 

“I love him, mum,” Harry’s voice cracks, “And he has no clue.”

“Oh Sweetie,” Anne gives Harry a hug

Tears start to well up in Harry’s eyes.“It just hurts so much seeing him with someone else everyday like there’s nothing wrong. I don't want it to hurt anymore.” 

“I know, honey,” Anne pulls Harry close,“But you’ll figure it out one day eventually and it won’t be so painful. I promise.”

“Thanks, mum.” Harry wipes his eyes. 

“Do you want a cuppa?” Anne asks soothingly.

“No thanks, I'm really tired. Think I'm gonna just go to bed now,” Harry puts his head in his hands. 

“Okay, Love,” Anne kisses the top of Harry’s head before turning off the lights and leaving him alone. 

Harry doesn't go to bed right away, rather he cries for an hour before finally falling into a restless sleep. 

\----

Harry wakes up with a crick in his neck that he can’t seem to get rid of no matter how much he rubs at it. He gets ready much more slowly than usual, absolutely dreading whatever awaits him at school in the day ahead of him. 

He walks alone, not bothering to stop by Louis’ house, knowing that he’ll just see Jay’s disappointed face saying he already left for the day. He’s only a few blocks away from school and there’s a tremendous clap of thunder and it starts to pour. 

“Great,” Harry mumbles to himself. By the time he finally gets to school, he is absolutely soaked. Harry doesn’t bother stopping at his locker, just trudges through the halls to his first class. 

“Mate you look like shit,” Niall says as Harry takes a seat. 

“Feel like it too.” Harry crosses his arms on his desk and resting his head on them.

“I have some clothes you can borrow.”

Harry lifts up his head. “Yes, please.” Niall pulls out a ball of clothes from his backpack.

“They’ve been in my locker for a wee bit, but they’re better than what you’ve got on.” 

“Thanks.” Harry grabs the clothes and hurries to the bathroom. He steps into a stall and peels his wet clothes from his body. He sniffs the shirt Niall gave him and wrinkles his nose at the stale smell. He changes quickly, never having been so grateful for dry clothes. 

He exits the stall, and puts his wet clothes in the sink. He tries his best to tame his wet hair, He hears the door open, and looks; only to see Louis. They make eye contact for a brief second before Louis turns around and walks right back out. 

“Louis wait!” Harry calls as he follows after him, forgetting his clothes. “Louis!”

Louis doesn’t respond, doesn’t even acknowledge that Harry is yelling his name, just keep walking down the hall with his fists clenched by his side. 

Harry sighs, but doesn’t pursue him, knowing it’s futile.

Harry tries at least ten more times before lunch to get Louis’ attention, but each time he completely ignores him. By the end of the day, Harry is exhausted physically and emotionally. He isn’t sure how much more he can take of Louis treating him like this. 

\---

A few days later Harry is at Niall's house, they had been play Super Smash Bros, but the game had been paused long ago.

“Niall what do I do?” Harry groans, frantically pacing back and forth in Niall's living room. 

“Have you tried talking to him and apologizing?” Niall watches his friend.

“He wouldn’t even acknowledge my existence. He just walks by me like I’m a ghost every day. You’ve seen how he’s been acting at lunch.” 

“You know him better than anyone, so I’m not sure I can even be any help,” Niall shrugs.

Harry lets out a frustrated noise and flops onto the couch. “I wish I never said those things. Then we wouldn’t be in this mess. Do you think you could talk to him?”

“Ha, good one,” Niall replies monotonously. “You couldn’t pay me a million dollars to get in the middle of Louis and Harry drama.”

“A good mate would help me out.” 

“I’m sure Louis is gonna come around soon. Now let’s get back to the game.” 

\----

A week later, and Louis is still avoiding Harry in the halls. After getting the same treatment for ten days in a row, Harry has stopped trying to apologize. What’s the point in trying if Louis is going to continue to ignore him? Harry doesn’t care about the fight anymore, so he stops feeling guilty and starts to get angry at Louis. And his anger may be misguided, but he has the right to feel it after the shitty way his best mate has been treating him. 

And when he hears the news about Louis and Declan breaking up five days later, there’s no feeling of hope or sadness on Louis’ part, just a voice in his head saying _“Serves him right.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed :) dont be afraid to leave comments or kudos or come visit me on [tumblr](http://www.hogwartzlou.tumblr.com)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised more consistent updates so here's another one. The next month is gonna be kinda busy for me and I'm taking part in an exchange that I haven't started on so It's probably gonna be closer to 6 weeks for the next chapter to come out. I like this chapter a lot and am super proud of it tbh. Also a huge shoutout to my wonderful beta [just-end-it](http://www.just-end-it.tumblr.com) who kicks my ass into gear when i need it <3

Harry is getting books out of his locker between classes, when he feels a tap on his shoulder.

“Hey Hazza,” Louis says softly, playing with his fingers nervously, blue eyes wide and pleading. 

Harry glances at him for a second, slams his locker shut, and walks away in the opposite direction. 

Harry hasn’t spoken to Louis for a total of six weeks, the longest they've gone without properly interacting. After Louis’ break up, Harry couldn’t have cared less about his friend, and he still doesn't. But Louis, who had apparently seen the error in his ways almost instantaneously, sought Harry out to make amends. He came over to Harry’s house after school that day, but he didn’t want to hear any of Louis’ excuses and slammed the door in his face. 

That didn’t deter Louis to continue trying. Day after day, he would show up on Harry’s doorstep and day after day Harry would slam the door in his face. Harry assumed he wanted to apologize, but he’s still bitter about the bullshit Louis pulled, so he hasn’t given him a chance to explain himself. Harry doesn’t know when he’ll finally get tired of not talking to Louis, but it sure as hell isn’t today. Harry is perfectly content to let Louis stew in his own guilt for just a bit longer 

\---

“Can you believe he’s still showing up at my house to apologize?!” Harry vents angrily. He’s over at Niall’s house watching Netflix, for the fourth time that week, hoping that by not being at his own house, Louis will eventually give up trying to talk to him there. It hasn’t worked so far. 

“So crazy,” Niall says disinterested. He’s heard Harry drone on and on about the same fucking thing and he’s tired of it. 

“I’m sorry that I won’t shut up about this mess. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it, I guess,” Harry puts his head in his hands.

“I get it, man. You and Louis have never had a huge fight before and now that you have, you don’t know how to handle it.” 

“Maybe,” Harry grumbles.

“You know what’ll cheer you up?”

“What?”

Niall smirks. “I snuck some vodka out of the cupboard. It’s up in my room.”

“And you didn’t tell me this before? Let’s go get pissed.”

Harry scrambles off the couch and practically runs upstairs to Niall’s room, but when he pushes through the door there’s another person sitting on the bed. The last person in the universe he wants to talk to right now. Harry tries his best to escape, but the door closes swiftly behind him and he hears something heavy being pushed against it. 

“Niall you fucking Irish bastard! Let me out of here!” Harry pounds his fists on the door. 

“This is for your own good, mate!” Niall yells back.

“What happened to remaining neutral in all of this?”

“That was before you got your head stuck up your arse! I’m not gonna let you out until you fix this.”

“I hate you, you know that?”

Louis interrupts, standing up. “Harry, it’s not his fault. This was all my idea. Don’t blame him.”

“I don’t need anything from you, thanks,” Harry snaps.

“Please just hear me out. If you don’t like what you hear, then you can go on hating me for the rest of your life.”

Harry turns around slowly and actually looks at Louis for more than a millisecond. He can easily see that Louis looks run down. It’s mostly in his eyes, they seem like a duller shade of blue than usual. There are huge bags under them too, like he hasn’t slept properly in at least a week. Harry has only ever seen Louis like this once and that was when his father left. In a moment of weakness, he starts to make his way across the room to hug his best mate. Up close he looks so much worse and his heart aches for him, but when he’s only a couple steps away he stops, remembering that he hasn’t forgiven him just yet, and crosses his arms over his chest. 

“Fine, I’ll listen to whatever you want to say,” he says, clenching his jaw.

“Really?” Louis’ eyes light up ever so slightly and Harry feels a flutter in his stomach. He forces himself to focus and to calm down.

“Yeah.” 

“Okay, um, shit... I didn’t plan what to say... I didn’t think you’d actually agree.” Louis looks at the floor sheepishly. 

“Well I did. So maybe you should figure it out,” Harry says, moving around Louis to sit down on the bed. He pats the mattress, signalling for Louis to join him. Louis decides to pace around the room instead and sighs before he starts. 

“Okay so first of all you were right about Declan. He was a total asshat and completely self absorbed. After we broke up, I realized that I didn’t like _him_ , but that I liked the _idea_ of him. I got so swept up in the whole soulmate thing and idea of a boyfriend that I wasn’t paying attention to anything else at all, including you. And I’m sorry for doubting you and for believing that you threatened Declan. You were right about everything honestly and I’m still so mad at myself for not seeing it,” He takes a deep breath. 

“Well...” Harry starts, but Louis just keeps on going.

“The worst of it all is that he fucking told me that he didn’t even like me. He said he literally started our relationship as a fucking bet with his footie team. Can you believe that? And apparently the plan was to make me lose my focus during the match against them, but even that didn’t work. We won and I scored against him. So now he’s just being a fucking dick about it and the cherry on top of this shite sundae is that he broke my fucking heart. I know it wasn’t that long of a relationship, but I thought it was real and fell fucking hard. Like really fucking hard...” Louis turns away, eyes welling up.

Harry’s heart breaks all over again and he knows he was angry just a minute ago, but after hearing Louis’ side he can't help but feel terrible about everything Louis has been through. Nobody deserves that, especially not his best friend. He stands up quickly and hugs Louis from behind. “You need to stop torturing yourself over this Lou.” 

Louis turns around so they’re chest to chest and bursts into tears. “I’m a fucking idiot.”

“No, you’re not. Declan is a fucking bastard who can go burn in Hell. He was the one that tricked you,” Harry rubs Louis’ back.

“But I was a dick to you,” Louis sniffles.

“Maybe, but I forgive you.”

“You shouldn’t. You should hate me forever.”

“I could never do that.”

“I’m gonna make this up to you somehow. I swear,” Louis hiccups, and pulls back to look at Harry. “What did I do deserve you?”

“I’m not that special.” 

“But you are Haz,” Louis replies sincerely. They stay intertwined, staring into each other’s eyes for what feels like hours. Harry wants to stay like this forever, he could die happily in Louis’ arms, but for now he takes a step back. He’s scared that he might do something to make Louis stop talking to him again, like kiss him. 

“You look shit.”

“Well, fuck you,” Louis laughs.

“You need sleep is what I mean. Let’s go back to mine and we can take a nap.”

“That sounds bloody fantastic actually. I’ve missed our naps, gotta get as many in as I can before I leave for Uni. C’mon then,” Louis grabs Harry’s hand and walks towards the door. “Niall we’re all good!”

The door opens enough for Niall to poke his head in to check that Louis is telling the truth. He sees their hands clasped together and opens it the rest of the way with a sigh of relief. 

“I’m so fucking glad you two are done fighting. It was so fucking stressful.” 

“The feeling is mutual,” Louis says. “Now if you’ll excuse us we are going to Harry’s house to take a nap.”

“You do look shit, mate.”

Louis doesn’t bother to respond, just gives him the finger. 

Niall steps aside to let them through. “Fine. Go be your weird co-dependent selves.” 

“Gladly,” Louis replies smugly. “C’mon Hazza we have some snuggling to do.” 

The walk to Harry’s house is quiet, but not in a bad way. Harry is practically supporting all of Louis’ weight the entire way there. He can tell that Louis is ready to drop and is afraid that he won’t even make it all the way to his room. He offers to give Louis a piggy back ride halfway there, but he refuses on principle. 

Once they get to the house, Harry can see Louis’ eyelids properly drooping. He finally let’s go of Louis’ hand and picks him up bridal style. 

“Put me down,” Louis’ protests meekly. 

“Shh just let this happen, Lou.”

“M’kay.” Louis presses his face into Harry's shoulder.

Louis is a little heavier than he anticipated, and decides that the couch in the living room is gonna have to be good enough for now. 

He lays Louis down, then nudges him. “Scooch over.”

“‘Kay.” Louis rolls over onto his side, making room for Harry. He lays down, careful not to jostle the couch too much, and assumes his position of little spoon. Louis drapes his arm over Harry’s torso.

“So glad we aren’t fighting anymore,” Louis says softly.

“Me too,” Within seconds he feels Louis’ even breathing on his neck. Harry doesn’t fall asleep right away. He savors the warmth from Louis’ body, that he’s come to know so well over the years, before drifting off too. 

\---

Harry wakes up a few hours later, disoriented. It takes him a couple of seconds to remember what had happened. Louis. They made up, and now they’re spooning on his living room couch. Which is...fine and totally normal for them. But today it feels more emotionally charged, and not just because they made up. 

Harry shakes his head a couple of times to try and clear it, but it doesn’t help. He hears the sound of his mum in the kitchen, most likely making dinner. He extracts himself from Louis’ grasp, which isn’t easy with the way he tends to cling onto Harry’s body like a koala when they sleep, but he manages to get away. He looks at Louis as he leaves the living room, still sleeping peacefully in the dark. 

“So, you and Louis are back to normal then?” Anne asks, as she stirs something on the hob. Harry grabs a water bottle from the fridge before sitting at the table. 

“Maybe not normal, but talking,” Harry replies, taking a drink.

“Certainly seemed like more than talking to me.”

“We talked earlier, and Louis looked like he hadn’t slept properly in a while so... here we are,” Harry shrugs.

“Are you going to tell him about the tattoos?”

“No,” Harry says vehemently. “He just got out of a seriously crappy situation and the last thing he needs is me telling him that.”

“Telling who what?” Louis says from the doorway. 

“Uh...nothing,” Harry replies.

“You’re so bad at keeping things a secret, Hazza,” Louis sits next to him and takes his water bottle.

“Am not!” 

“You ruined Niall’s surprise party last year, literally the day before.”

“That was a total accident!”

“Maybe, but it was because you don’t have a poker face.”

“It’s great to see you two together again,” Anne interrupts with a smile.

“It feels great,” Louis replies with his signature thousand watt grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> plz leave comments or at least kudos if you'd like. 
> 
> come say hi on [tumblr](http://www.hogwartzlou.tumblr.com)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I must apologize once more for the wait on this chapter. If you've stuck with me this far I applaud you really I don't have a consistent schedule and I just wanna say thank you so so much for reading still this is all for you guys, I wouldn't have the courage to post if it wasn't for you anyway... I really hope that you guys enjoy this chapter!!

Harry and Louis get back into their natural flow much quicker than Harry expected. It’s as if they had never even fought in the first place. Harry doesn’t mind at all, he’s glad that there’s no awkward moments of trying to ignore what had happened; they talk about it openly. But when they go back to school on Monday, Harry can feel everyone staring at them as they walk down the halls. He had never really liked it, but he can't keep the smile off his face as he and Louis walk hand in hand down the corridors, as a sign of, you know, solidarity. He sees people with their phones pointed at the two of them. And he can't help but blush. 

Right before lunch they see Declan leaning against his locker surrounded by his footie mates. They laugh as Louis and Harry pass. Harry clenches his fist and stops walking. 

“Harry, please don’t do anything,” Louis whines. “He's not worth it.”

“Give me a second.” Harry turns around and walks right up to Declan. “I don't think you ever apologized to Louis.” 

“You gonna make me?” Declan responds, smirking at the reaction it pulls from his mates.

“No.” Harry shakes his head. “But this is from Louis.” 

Harry slams his fist into Declan’s stomach. There’s a collective gasp as Declan falls to the ground groaning. Harry turns away without saying another word.

“You’re amazing,” Louis gets out between bursts of his own laughter.

“I know,” Harry replies smugly, linking his arm with Louis’ as they continue their way down the corridor..

\---

“Man I'm so glad you guys aren't fighting anymore,” Niall says as he shoves a chip into his mouth. “It was getting really awkward.” 

“Well, you won’t have to worry any more because I hated it even more than you,” Louis replies. 

Harry can't help but stare at him fondly. Everything just feels so right. Things are back to normal and Harry feels better than he has in months. Maybe he’ll finally find the courage to tell Louis about the tattoo. But he doesn't know if it's still too soon after the Declan situation or what it might do to their friendship in the long run. He just got his best friend back he can't lose him again. But he also doesn't think he could survive another Declan situation down the road, not when he knows that Louis is his. He just...

“Earth to Harry!” Louis yells, snapping his fingers right in front of Harry’s face, effectively pulling him out of his thoughts. “Lost you for a minute there. You okay?” 

“‘M fine. Just thinking about...uh... final exams.” 

“Ugh don't remind me, they're coming up so quickly.” Louis folds his arms on the table and puts his head on top of them.

“They aren't that bad, Lou.” 

“You're literally the only person to ever say that.” Louis looks up and gives Harry a pointed look. “Final exams are the bane of any student's existence.” 

“Louis is right. You're nuts, mate,” Niall chimes in, taking a swig of his milk.

“Thank you, Niall,” Louis throws his arms up in the air dramatically.

“Well, when you actually revise for them you know it makes them easier, right?” Harry points out, as if he were speaking to a small child.

“Pffftt. That’s ridiculous.” Louis waves his hand dismissively. 

“We can revise together,” Harry insists, as if they don't already do this. “And I can make snacks!”

“What kind of snacks?” Louis squints his eyes suspiciously. 

“Anything you want,” Harry replies sincerely. 

“Okay, you got yourself a deal.” Louis relaxes his body and steals one of Harry’s chips.

“Umm hello what about me?” Niall says loudly. “Other people besides you two exist, ya know.” 

“Yeah of course you’re invited, Nialler.” Harry replies offhandedly, eyes only for Louis. 

\---

The next month passes in a flurry of revising every second they aren't at school and baking. All of the baking is done by Harry, because he loves his friends, but they consider helping eating half of the raw batter. He’s probably made seven batches of cookies and brownies because his two best friends are insatiable bottomless pits.

“You should drop out of school and open a bakery Hazza. These are amazing,” Louis moans as he take a bite of a warm brownie. It’s a Thursday afternoon and they’re studying in Harry’s kitchen for what seems like the millionth time. There are only a few more days until they take their final exams for the school year. 

“You know they’re from a box, right?” Harry replies as he wipes down the counter.

“They're still good.” Louis shrugs, and takes another bite.

“Would you really deprive the world of your excellent baking?” Niall reaches for another brownie.

“I’m glad you guys enjoy them, but I don’t think that’s a good enough reason for me to not finish school.” Harry takes a seat next to Louis. “Also, I really don’t think my mum would be too overjoyed about that.”

“If you dropped out, you’d never have to take another exam again,” Niall points out. 

“I would do it,” Louis groans and puts his head in his hands. “I don’t think I can remember anything else at this point.”.

“You’ll do just fine, Lou.” Harry puts a comforting arm around Louis’ shoulders and he leans into Harry’s body. 

“But what if I don’t?” Louis takes his hands away from his face.

“You can’t think like that. I’m absolutely positive you’ll pass all of your exams,” Harry says softly, rubbing his thumb back and forth on Louis arm.

“Oi! Lovebirds, stop it with your grossness please,” Niall says loudly, throwing an eraser at his friends. Louis straightens up and slides over a few inches. Harry reluctantly takes his arm off Louis’ shoulder. The three of them fall into silence that seems to last for eons. 

“So, um what should we do to celebrate the end of the school year?” Niall asks lightheartedly.

“Let’s get absolutely pissed,” Harry suggests. 

“You read my mind, Hazza,” Louis replies.

\--

Harry has only gotten drunk a couple of times before this. Last year at one of the many neighborhood summer parties, Louis snuck him some of the spiked punch. It only took two cups for him to be stumbling around much more than usual. So six shots after a ruthless game of truth or dare; Harry is very, very drunk.   
Niall and Louis are sitting on Louis’ bed watching some stupid action film Harry doesn't remember the name of. Harry is pretending to watch it, but he wants to do something fun. 

“Les’ go do something Lou,” Harry pokes Louis’ arm repeatedly.

“We are doing something,” Louis says distractedly, eyes glued to the screen.. 

“I mean somethin’ fun,” Harry whines and stops poking Louis. “This is borin’. Let's go outside!” Harry scrambles to get up and makes his way to the door.

“Harry, no!” Louis hisses loudly. 

“Harry yes,” Harry giggles and leaves the room. He knows this house like the back of his hand; after years of sneaking into the kitchen for a midnight snack he knows exactly which steps creak. He gets down the stairs and out the front door without any problems. 

It's a beautiful summer night. There's a slight breeze in the air that makes Harry feel like a livewire in his not-so-sober state. He closes his eyes, points his face to the sky and holds his arms out. 

“Harry?” Louis says warily, creeping outside behind him, “You okay?”

“Perfect,” Harry replies softly. He opens his eyes and drops his arms. “The stars are out. ‘Member when we used to look at the stars?” 

“Course I do Hazza. I’d sneak out, then come over to get you. So many nights we’d just fall asleep.”

“Yeah.” Harry smiles and sits down then pats the grass next him. “Join me.” Louis sits down beside him, their thighs touching.

“Used to be obsessed with the stars. Learning all the constellations and about white dwarfs and supernovas.” Louis says absentmindedly.

“Mmmm you tried to teach me.” Harry rests his head on Louis’ shoulder.

“I did,” Louis laughs and Harry thinks it’s the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard; that he could never ever get tired of it. “You preferred making up your own.” Louis puts his arm around Harry’s shoulder and starts to play with Harry’s hair. 

“Heeey, I was like five.”

“Fair enough.” They sit in comfortable silence for the next few minutes gazing at the sky. Louis does anyway, but Harry can't take his eyes off of his best friend. The moonlight shining on his face seems to bring out the blueness of his eyes and makes his cheekbones pop from the shadows building beneath them. “They’re so beautiful aren't they?”

“You're beautiful.”

“What?” Louis chuckles and looks at Harry only to find nothing but sincerity in his eyes. 

“‘M serious. Most beautiful person I've ever seen,” Harry says with a sense of awe. 

“Harry...” Louis starts, but he doesn't get to finish because Harry has pressed their mouths together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a cliffhanger I know! So sorry, but it had to happen.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again massive apology for the wait but thank you so much for sticking with me this long y'all are truly amszing. Was stuck on this chapter bc I just didn't know how to get the fic where I wanted it but the POV change seemed necessary and you'll see why in upcoming chapters. 
> 
> Love you all

Louis wakes up with the worst headache he's probably ever had in his life, it feels like there’s a jackhammer inside his skull. He opens his eyes for a split second but he quickly closes them, the sunlight streaming through window is just too much to stomach. He’s in his own bed, he vaguely recalls climbing into it fully clothed, too drunk to even attempt to take his clothes off. 

Someone is on the other side of the bed. It’s Harry. Louis doesn’t even have to look to know, they’ve shared a bed so many times in ten years that Louis knows exactly how Harry feels lying next to him. Louis gets a flash of Harry getting naked and him protesting as Harry took off his boxers, but of course he didn’t listen. He likes to be naked as much as possible when he’s sober, so of course he takes his clothes off when he’s drunk.

Louis tries to remember what else happened last night. He remembers a game of truth or dare that slowly devolved into them daring each other to do increasingly stupid things. He and Niall had started to watch Die Hard after the game ended, because they hadn't seen it in ages. And he definitely followed Harry outside around three in the morning, afraid that his best friend would try to climb a tree or something equally stupid; but he just wanted to look at the stars. 

And then Harry kissed him. He definitely remembers that, couldn’t forget it if he tried. 

Louis doesn’t wake Harry up right away like he usually does when his friend stays the night. He’s not sure if he’s ready to face him just yet, needs some time to process what happened last night. Plus he's sure Harry could use a couple more hours of sleep. He slips out of bed quietly, trying not to move it too much. When he finally gets out, he lets out a sigh of relief when he sees that Harry hasn’t moved an inch. Quickly and quietly, he navigates around Niall who is in a sleeping bag on the floor and makes his way to the kitchen to make a cup of tea.

As Louis puts the kettle on he thinks about last night. His best friend of ten years kissed him, sure it was just a peck more than anything, but that’s still a kiss. Does this mean that Harry likes him? Or was it just drunken antics? Louis knows that they tend to toe the line a bit with friendship and something more. But he’s never had romantic feelings for Harry. 

There was one time that they kissed back when he was thirteen and Harry was eleven. They had confessed that they would both rather have a boy for a soulmate. And it was just something that happened, there was no thought to it. It was his first kiss, Harry’s too. He remembers, even five years later, the way that Harry's eyes stayed closed for a few seconds, after the brief kiss, like he was trying to savor the moment or something.

There wasn't anything romantic about the moment. It was just two young boys curious about kissing other boys. Last night was different though, it seemed like a deliberate thing on Harry’s part, and He let it happen; didn't push Harry away or even try to stop him. Does that mean he wanted it too? 

Louis groans and puts his head in his hands. He should have stopped Harry last night, why didn’t he stop him? The answer is so obviously that the alcohol was clouding his judgement. But if it was just a drunken slip then why is he freaking out about it so much? Maybe it’s because of the whole Declan thing, and how clear it was to see that Harry was jealous of the fact that Louis was in a relationship. 

That has to be it; that plus the fact that Louis finally has his soulmark, and Harry doesn’t. It kinda feels as if he’s just cheated on his future soulmate. It’s the only thing that makes sense, in the light of day, the only rational conclusion that he is going to believe, because the other options, that include romantic feelings, are a bit too much for him to handle. 

He takes and deep breath and then lets it out slowly. Now that he’s cleared his mind a bit he feels a thousand times better. He grabs his cup from the table and gets up to go to the living room. He makes himself comfortable on the couch, sitting with his cross legged and snuggled up under a blanket. He turns on the TV and pulls up Netflix. He scrolls through his list and settles on Parks and Rec. He picks a random episode and starts it up. The house is quiet and it feels strange, there’s usually at least some sort of noise from his sisters, who seem to think it’s okay to yell at the top of their lungs at all times, but school is still in session for them. His mum is at work, so she’s not asking him to do any chores or to break up a fight between the twins. At the very least he has Harry to give commentary on whatever they are watching, but he’s upstairs sleeping off a hangover. 

Louis should feel relieved that he finally has some peace and quiet to himself, but he finds that he doesn’t like it all that much. After three episodes, without any sort of interruption, he feels like he’s going to burst out of his skin. He’s about to get up and wake up his friends, when he hears someone step on the squeaky stair. He turns his head to see a Harry just standing on the stair. He’s got a blanket wrapped around him, and a look that’s a mix between determination, and confusion. 

“You okay there, Haz?” Louis asks from his spot on the couch. 

“I feel like death,” Harry groans just loud enough for Louis to hear on the couch. “Everything hurts.” 

“I’m sure it does,” Louis replies unhelpfully with a large grin. 

“What even happened last night?” Harry flops down right next to Louis. The heat coming off of Harry that he normally doesn’t mind, is too much to handle right now. 

“Do you... remember anything?” Louis asks slowly, afraid that he might remember the kiss and that they will have to talk about it. He’s decided it’s for the best not to tell him, so his actions might be a bit selfish, but he doesn’t think he could handle that conversation right now. 

Harry cocks his head to the side, his face scrunched up in concentration. “No,” he groans, throwing his head back to rest against the couch. Louis rejoices in his mind; happy to avoid any awkward discussion forthe time being. “Please tell me I didn’t do anything stupid.”

Louis stops to think for a second, not wanting to blurt out the obvious. “You put on one of Lottie’s dresses. Does that count?” he replies nonchalantly. 

“Hmm...did I look good at least?” Harry rests his head on Louis’ shoulder, and Louis can’t help but tense up slightly at the contact for a few seconds before he relaxes again. None of his other mates would even think to rest their head on his shoulders. If Niall did it Louis would know he was only joking and immediately shrug him off. But with Harry the motion is completely natural. For the first time since Louis has Harry have been friends, he's terrified of what the small gesture might mean. 

“Of course,” he replies immediately. He doesn’t exactly remember if he did look good or not, but the thought of Harry in a dress is probably not the best thing for him to be thinking about right now. He’s not normally scared to comment on this sort of thing, but in the light of day he’s realized that his and Harry’s friendship seems to be a lot less platonic than he previously thought. He never cuddles with Niall while watching a film, and he only cuddled with Declan a few times in their short relationship. 

As much as Louis doesn’t want to consider Harry having a crush on him, it’s stuck at the forefront of him mind. He still doesn’t know what to do, but maybe he needs to pull away from Harry. The only other thing he can think to do is talk to him, but that certainly isn’t happening anytime soon. So pulling away is the only logical way to deal with it; he just has to cut back on all of the cuddling and bed sharing and it should be totally fine. 

“Well then that’s not embarrassing,” Harry says happily. 

“Hey, Haz do you think you could scooch over? I just feel really, really hot for some reason,” Louis says lamely.

“Do you feel ill?” Harry asks, his eyebrows furrowed He puts his hand on Louis’ forehead. “You don’t have a fever.” 

“I’m fine, Haz. Could you just please move over?” Louis replies through gritted teeth. Harry immediately takes his hand off Louis’ head, as if he's been physically burned by Louis’ words, and moves to the middle cushion, leaving plenty of space between them

An uncomfortable silence falls between the two, with Netflix still playing in the background. Louis wants to say something, should definitely apologize but he can’t find it in himself to say anything. He covertly glances over at Harry a few times, he’s cheongsam on his bottom lip. A habit Louis knows he only does when he's sad or nervous. But he's never done it because of him and Louis feels his heartache. Wants nothing more than to reach out and pull Harry close and make sure he's never sad again, but that would go against his new no touching rule, so he doesn't. Instead he just stares at Harry helplessly. 

“Are you...are you mad at me?” Harry whispers softly. Louis looks over at humans his feet are pulled to his chest, his arms wrapped around them. 

“I could never be mad at you,” Louis confesses. Without thinking, he reaches out a hand to pat him reassuringly on the knee, but he stops halfway and puts his arm under his blanket. 

“But you never get hot even when we cuddle for hours.” 

“Think it's just the hangover,” Louis lies “Sure I'll be right as rain tomorrow, and we can cuddle all day if you want.” 

“Really?” Harry immediately perks up at the offer, his sadness seemingly gone. Louis can see his dimples starting to show and his eyes light up ever so slightly. Louis swallows a large lump in his throat as he forces a smile onto his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave kudos and comments please!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I apologize for the delay on this chapter. I was dealing with a family emergency a couple months ago and school is literally so stressful this semester. Once again I promise this fic isn’t being abandoned. Love you all for sticking with me.
> 
> if you got another email about an update this is the same chapter i posted a couple weeks ago I just realized now that the publication date was set for 2 years ago, because ao3 mobile hates me

The rest of the summer flies by and before Louis knows it, it’s September and he’s off to his first year of university. He doesn’t know how to feel about going off on his own, it’s certainly a bit daunting seeing as he hasn’t been on his own for more than a few days at a time. But maybe the most difficult thing to deal with is that he won’t be able to talk to Harry about his problems. 

Ever since their kiss a few months ago their relationship has taken a 180, just like Louis had wanted at the time, but now he just wants his best mate back. He still doesn’t know which part of pulling away from Harry was the most painful: the hurt look in Harry’s eyes as Louis would flinch away from the smallest touch, the former silently asking ’what did I do wrong?’. Or maybe it was when Harry would reach out to touch Louis, but remind himself halfway that things have changed, and drop his hand like he’d been burned. Or maybe just maybe it was when Harry stopped even trying to be close to Louis. No attempts to touch him, or staying overnight at each other's houses. Nothing but stilted conversation and hanging out for the sake of appearances for their families, Niall always in tow. 

Louis should be rejoicing, uni is supposed to be the best time of his life (or so he's heard from every adult), but he has never felt worse and it's all his own doing. If he had just been brave enough to talk to Harry about the kiss rather than avoiding it all together they wouldn’t be in this situation. 

“You ready, sweety?” His mum says from the doorway, effectively pulling him out of his thoughts. 

“Just need a few more minutes,” Louis grabs the first thing he grabs from his closet, a shirt that he doesn’t really wear anymore. He packs it anyway. 

“Are you nervous?” His mum takes a seat on his bed. 

“A bit yeah.” Louis doesn’t look at her as he grabs another shirt. 

“Surprised Harry isn’t here to help you finish getting ready. Is everything okay between you two?” 

“S’ fine,” Louis replies nonchalantly. He starts to rummage through his dresser so his mum won’t see that he’s clearly lying. “He’s got a family thing today.”

“We both know that’s not true,” Jay says pointedly. Louis freezes for a split second. He hates lying to his mum. 

“It is.” 

“You know Anne and I actually talk, right?” Jay reaches out for Louis’ wrist as he passes by, he stops in his tracks. “She says Harry won’t come out of his room. Tell me what’s going on, boo bear.”

“Don’t call me that,” Louis whines halfheartedly as he sits down, unable to put up anymore of a fight. “Something happened during the summer between Harry and I. I freaked out and distanced myself and now Harry hates me,” Louis says quickly enough that even he can barely understand what he just said. But somehow his mum does, probably something to do with raising seven kids. 

“Oh honey.” Jay puts a comforting arm around his shoulder. 

“I don’t know what to do. Nothing is ever gonna be the same.” Louis drags his hands over his face. 

“You could start by inviting him over before we have have to start the drive.”

“He doesn’t want to hear from me,” Louis replies, adamant that his relationship with Harry has no chance of being saved. 

“He does,” Jay kisses his temple before standing up. “We’re leaving in twenty.”

Louis takes his phone out of his pocket and brings up Harry’s contact, he stares blankly at the screen, weighing out his options. After a minute or so, he presses the call icon. 

It rings once and Louis fights the urge to hang up. It rings again.

“Hello?” Harry asks shakily, he sounds like he’s been crying. 

“Hey. Uh, so I’m off to uni today, leaving in just a bit actually,” Louis cringes at how awkward he sounds. “And um, it wouldn’t feel right not saying goodbye before I go.” Louis pinches the bridge of his nose. So...uh... would you please come over?”

Silence. 

Louis doesn’t say anything else, doesn’t know what else he could possibly say. ‘I’m sorry for being an absolutely shit excuse for a human being’ runs through his mind, No, now’s not the right time for that. 

Silence. Louis checks his phone to make sure Harry hasn’t hung up on him, he hasn’t.

“Sure,” Harry replies. “I...uh...I’ll be there in just a few minutes.”

“Thanks. I’ll see you soon then.”

“Yeah.” Harry hangs up. 

Louis lets out a sigh he didn’t even know he was holding in. 

-

Twenty minutes later the car is packed, his mum ready to go, and absolutely no sign of Harry. Maybe he just said he was coming over to get Louis’ hopes up only to bring them down, he would understand if that were the case; he’d be extremely upset but still wouldn’t hold it against him.

Louis has given up and hope and opens the passenger door slowly. The sounds of feet someone running stops him. Huge turns to look, and sure enough it’s Harry. Louis feels like jumping for joy, he doesn’t, but he does smile. 

“Hi,” Louis says. A quick flash of pain shoots through Louis’ bicep, right where his tattoo is. He winces and immediately reaches to touch the spot. He notices Harry’s eyes follow the movement like a hawk. There's a flash something in Harry’s eyes that's gone before Louis knows it. Despite being able to usually read Harry like an open book, he’s unable to pinpoint what Harry might be feeling, and honestly knows he doesn’t even have the right to ask him anymore. 

Harry’s gaze stays trained on the spot with such intensity that Louis starts to feel uncomfortable “Well, I suppose this is goodbye.” he says a bit abruptly.

Harry finally tears his eyes away from Louis’ arm, and looks into his friends eyes. Louis thinks he might see tears starting to form, but it’s probably just a trick of the light; Harry has no reason to shed tears over him anymore. 

Louis wraps his arms around Harry, taking in the familiar feeling of his best friend. He’s torn between holding him tight for as long as possible and keeping it short and sweet. But Harry decides for him, pulling away after about three seconds. Louis reluctantly lets him go. He wants to apologize for every single stupid thing he’s ever done right there and then, making a complete fool of himself in the process. 

But he doesn’t. 

“Good luck, Louis,” Harry says, there’s no real emotion behind the sentiment however and the use of his full name has never stung more. He’s done his job of pushing Harry away all too well. 

“Thanks,” he replies, voice cracking. He gets into the car before Harry can see his eyes welling with tears. His mum remains quiet as Louis starts sobbing. 

 

\----

 

A few days later, Louis is having the time of his life. It’s Freshers Week, meaning a majority of the students spend the entire time drunk off their asses. Louis jumped on board the very first night after all his stuff was put away. He needed a good distraction from the awkward goodbye with Harry, along with everything else. What better way to do it than get so drunk that he barely remembers why he started drinking in the first place? He realizes it’s not a healthy practice, but he doesn’t know what else to do, so alcohol and weed it is. And Louis honestly feels amazing as he dances with his new friends at the student union. He’s about nine drinks in and lets the music flow through his body as he moves without a care in the world. 

A friend gets his attention and motions that she’s going to the smoking area. Louis nods excitedly and follows her through the crowded dance floor. The cool night air is a welcome feeling and Louis basks in it as he rolls a cigarette. 

“So meet anyone you wanna hook up with?” The girl asks him; he thinks her name might be Jenny. 

“Wow, you cut right to the fuckin’ chase,” Louis laughs as he brings his cigarette to his lips. 

“Everyone’s thinking it.” She shrugs. “I’ve definitely seen a few guys and girls I wouldn’t mind doing the deed with.” 

“Ugh you make it sound so nasty.” Louis shoves her playfully. 

“You’re avoiding the question,” Jenny says bluntly. “Who do you want to sleep with?”

“I’m... uh...kinda not looking at the moment.” Louis takes a drag of his cigarette. He definitely is avoiding the question. 

“Why not? With all the new people who could be your mate? Seems silly to get to university and not at least look around.” Jenny takes a long drag from her cigarette.

“Things are kinda complicated right now,” Louis tries again, hoping that she’ll drop it.

“Are you sleeping with someone who’s already bonded?!” She gasps. 

“No of course not!” he protests.

“Then what is it?”

Louis lets out a frustrated sigh. He doesn’t particularly feel like talking about it right now, and not with a person he only met a few days ago, granted they do get on well but he’s not sure if he can trust her yet. Also he’s gone almost a whole day without thinkin about Harry, one of the many upsides to socializing with new people and having different events scheduled basically every single hour of the day for students. On the other hand, he hasn’t talked about the Harry debacle besides Niall and his mum. It has consumed a lot of space in his mind though, and talking to an objective party would be probably helpful to get some sort of feedback. 

“I’m not talking with my best friend and it’s so fucking hard. I miss him so much,” Louis gushes. 

“Are you in love with him?” she asks excitedly.

“No! Harry is just my closest mate, was anyway. ‘S my fault we aren’t talking.” Louis looks at the ground dejectedly.

“So call him,” Jenny says matter of factly.

Louis looks up at her, flabbergasted. “What, like now? What would i even say?”

“What you just told me,” Jenny shrugs, takes a final hit of her cigarette, and drops it on the ground. “If you want thing to be right, then you gotta take action cuz it’s your fault.” 

 

“You’re right.” Louis sighs, running a hand over his face. 

“I know,” Jenny responds happily. “You ready to go back in?” 

“You go, think I have a call to make.” 

Jenny gives him a kiss on the cheek. “Good luck. Don’t fuck this up even more.”

“Thanks for that,” Louis says sarcastically as she walks away. He takes one last drag of his cigarette before dropping it and putting it out with his foot.

He takes his phone out of his pocket and pulls up Harry’s contact. He stares at the screen contemplating his actions. He knows he has to do this and if he can’t now he doesn’t think he ever will. He presses the phone icon and brings it up to his ear. He can barely hear it ringing. Someone Louis doesn’t recognize waves at him and he waves back, they probably ran into each other at one of the bajillion mixers that happened in just the past few days. When he hears Harry’s voice his heart starts hammering in his chest, but he quickly realizes it’s just Harry’s voicemail. He listens to the familiar message and feels a wave of melancholy wash over him. 

“I miss you,” Louis gushes. “I miss you so fucking much, Hazza .I wanna tell you about the shit tha’ happens in my life. I wan’ you to make stupid puns about everything. I want us to be friends again, Hazza.” Louis pauses, “I cried for like an hour in the car after we said goodbye. I wish I could go back n’ change the past but I can’t. Can we please, please, please be friends again? I can’t stand not talking to you anymore. I should’ve jus’ told you about the kids and then we wouldn’t even be in this fucking mess. Please call me back soon. I need you.” Louis pauses again. “I love you, H. Please call.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading!!! Would greatly appreciate any feedback good or constructive. kudos always welcome too!!! like i said in the notes before (i tend to skip them whoops) this may not be updated regularly but i do plan to finish it bc i absolutely LOVE this idea so much and have always wanted to write a soulmate au
> 
> come say hi on [tumblr](http://www.hogwartzlou.tumblr.com)


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